Trolls and Prudes can stick to Sandra Bullock movies

Hey folks,

First of all, no chappie to post today.  So very sorry, but that’ll happen soon enough.

I just had to post and complain about prudish, trolling assholes who review my story on, anonymously mind you, to tell me the following:

“I am very highly offended that you had Eric calling Sookie an “artful…little…w***”. That is extremely derogatory and disrespectful. I’m truly surprised and ashamed of you for that.”

First of all, I can’t believe this person got through 57 chapters of PRETTY KITTY and is just now finding something to get offended about.   Between Eric and Sookie, I’ve had them use the words cock, dick, pussy, cunt, asshole, bitch, goddammit, fuck you, fuck this, fuck that, shit, and fag.  I use them because their True Blood counterparts use them all the time.  I CANNOT believe someone with such delicate sensibilities would a) even like the show and b) read very hard core stories about it.  My stories are not cute.  They’re not fuzzy and sweet.  They’re not fucking Twilight.  They’re True Blood.  Highly offended?  You’re in the wrong fanfic.  Stick to Sandra Bullock movies like While You Were Sleeping and read only uplifting, girl-power dreck like The Secret Life of Bees.

My second, angrier objection (aside from them posting anonymously) is that this person managed to take that phrase completely out of context.  Eric was not calling Sookie a whore, he was TEASING HER, in one of the many instances that they tease each other, when Sookie joked that she’d barter sex for leniency when he beat her at chess.  I am astounded.  What kind of literal sociopath can’t tell the difference?  Who among us doesn’t smiling call our friends and loved ones jerks, bitches, whores and douchebags?  Do we mean it?  Of course not.  Does the other person know that?  Obviously, and will usually retaliate with a choice insult of their own.

This person says they’re ashamed of me.

I pity them.

I also highly recommend they stop reading my stuff asap.  It’s full of subtexts and subtleties and -worst of all- dirty words, all engineered to entertain the witty and horrify people who gasp when a thousand year old vampire drops anything worse than “gosh darnit”.

The man called his sister a cunt, for crissakes.  He threatened to kill Pam.  He joked that children are tasty.  He’s killed how many people?  He murdered a man he was simultaneously screwing.  I don’t ever want to hear another person hold him to some ridiculous moral standard, or me for trying to write him faithfully.

I know the vast majority of you are like me, so I’m sorry for the rant that’s not aimed at you.  I’m just pissed off.

I love you guys.  Fight trolls.





68 comments on “Trolls and Prudes can stick to Sandra Bullock movies

  1. Hey Girl,

    Trolls are a part of life, just be eternally grateful we weren’t born that way. I totally agree with your opinions but have lived long enough to see that you just can’t please some people, specially the Wousers! Just got to be true to yourself and crash on!

    I just love your stories, specially Pretty Kitty. I know you are a busy girl but I would love to see more updates. Like many stories on FF by the time an update appears I have forgotten the thread of the story. I am always excited to get an update, keep them coming.

    Thank you the hours of entertainment and the time you devote to our pleasure, it’s a heap of fun.

    Cheers Jillian xx

    Sent from my iPad


  2. ericluver says:

    All I can say is AMEN!!!! Tell it sister 🙂

  3. nordiclover says:

    good on you for sticking it to them…..



  4. valady1 says:

    I don’t understand for the life of me why the fanfiction site changed their rules about anonymous (or as they are called “guest” reviewers).. Don’t have the courage to take less than a minute to set up an account on the site so your review can be responded to? Then shut up. And no longer being able to just totally block anonymous reviews was a step backwards.

  5. I really do not understand people who post prudish comments in relation to True Blood. The show itself is anything but so they are definitely in the wrong fandom plus if they want to read something more suitable to their delicate sensibilities there are filters there.

    You’re not the 1st author to get targeted by an anon. I know someone else who had comments about their stories being too explicit. is a joke of a site anyway and it seems there’s a group of people there who are determined to get authors content taken down if there’s a smidgeon of mature content in it.

    Your writing is great and I would ignore the anon since they are too cowardly to publish under a name so you can respond directly to them!

  6. Jackie69 says:

    YOU are awesome I love your stories there are fun and I love how Sookie and Eric “tease” eachother if a reader of your FF net does not understand your teasing I think they should read other stuff ….

  7. kjwrit says:



    You had them playing CHESS? I’m offended.

    What were you THINKING? Pitting a busty blond barmaid against a well-endowed blond vampire, where they’re trading phallic shaped game pieces?

    OF COURSE something untoward was bound to be said!

    There’s a HORSE for Christ’s sake!

    It’s like I don’t know you at all.

    But because that thought would make me sad, I will choose to remember what a wise old man once told me.

    My Human Resources Manager – both old AND a wise ass.

    HRM: “Hey! I read in the newspaper there’s a Skarsgard in some new Vagina Movie coming out soon. Not YOUR man, but another one.”

    Me: “Huh? Like a Skinsta Flick?”

    HRM: “I don’t think so. I can’t remember the name, but I’m pretty sure ‘vagina’ is in it.”

    Me: “Did you take your meds this morning?”

    HRM: *glares* “But in the interview, the chick with the vagina said it’s not really HER vagina in the movie. They used a stunt double. A stunt vagina.”

    Me. *falls out of the chair in hysterics*

    So, I choose to believe that was the case here as well. A stunt vagina was employed. 🙂

  8. msbuffy says:

    When I see these reviews of my favorite writers stories, I just have to write something to the anonymous or guest review that typically goes like this: If you’re offended by the content of this story, which the writer has spent a great deal of their time & long hours writing, I have two suggestions. You can STOP reading what you believe is so offensive, OR you can start writing your own story. In the meantime, stop being a coward and sign in in order for the writer to respond, or just shut up. If I’ve offended you, then my work is done.

    Trolls are cowards. Prudes who get through 50+chapters and then say they’re offended? Right. They’re not prudes! They’re probably pissed off that you didn’t have Eric bend Sookie over the chess board & do her right there. Yeah, after all the words used, they’re suddenly offended by the word whore. Shock, shock me! Keep doing what you’re doing. Fuck the trolls & the so-called prudes.

  9. lostinspace33 says:

    Amen, Sista!!! 🙂

  10. You know I’m not sure why but my reaction to this is a sample damn the man, save the empire.

    I got flack for using the word “retarded” after Pam did because apparently I’m supposed to clean her up. Guess what? NO. I totally agree with what you posted and I sincerely wonder if these hypersensitive, verbal hall monitors never attempted to read something more advanced than oh, say, Judy Bloom books before diving headlong into M RATED FANFICTION ABOUT FUCKING VAMPIRES. Dumbasses.

    Oh the rough side of fanfic writing, wherein we’re supposed to silently suffer entitled fools that have the reading comprehension skills of a third grader off their ADHD meds…

  11. JIMINY CRICKETS! You use bad language in your stories?

    I bet they aren’t rated M (Oh – they are?).

    Are you doing a cross over with Little House on the Prairie? (No, hmmm – though THAT would be interesting).

    Wait – you call your friends names – why you little bleepety bleep bleep. (What? I just called her what?)

    I’m having a conversation with my cat (Mr. Peanut) by the way.

    Let me think – I know! You can reply or send a PM to this person and have a discussion (WHAT – they were a guest reviewer? – Mr, Peanut, are you sure??? – cat nods his head).

    I’m still trying to remember when Sandra Bullock appeared in your story – maybe I’ll go back and read. At least now I know there’s nothing offensive to my delicate sensibilities until chapter 57.

    Wait – I’m getting a warning – he did WHAT to her – he called her THAT – all this before Chapter 8 was finished? Then why did this guest reviewer CONTINUE to read it?

    Who the fuck knows – asshole trolls all of them!

    Write what you want – those of us with sense will read it – even my pretty kitty – Mr. Peanut.

    Love your stuff – more chapters please???


  12. kinnik says:

    Hear hear!! Thank you for sticking with your stories for those of us who do enjoy them immensely. Those others can suck it!

  13. meridiean says:

    Whispers to “guest”: I bet “kitty” is a code word for pussy, too…


    I hope the troll knows to come here and read this. If they don’t, can I be “surprised” and “ashamed” of them? PLEEEEEASE?? PRETTY PUSSY PLEASE???

    FF makes no sense with their continued insistence on allowing “guest” reviews without giving the writer the option of turning them OFF. While I’ve been very fortunate in not receiving a many troll reviews at all (not that I’d, you know, care…), fact remains that some of my hard-working friends HAVE gotten sludged by the troll machine, and it’s just not fair. People do and should have opinions, but they should also have to stand up and claim them, too. And while FF offers the option to moderate guest reviews, that means the writer is STILL subjected to whatever imagined insult or feverish rantings happen to be crawling out of a “guest”s ass that day. Ugh. The only reason I stay with FF *at all* is because I do have a great reader base there…who I keep encouraging to follow me over to WP…

    Nix the dainty little complainers. Tell them to go get that annoying pea out from under all those mattresses and get on with their wee little lives…but to not watch Disney because Bambi’s mama dies.


    • Wait–was Bambi’s mom married to Bambi’s dad? ‘Cause both Bambi’s dad and mom seemed like they might have been “whores” to me. And talk about a “dead-beat” dad!

      • meridiean says:

        Ohhhh, no – I bet they WEREN’T married! So there’s yet another reason for “guest” to run from Disney lest they taint their shining wee eyes with things like LIFE or REALISM or, um, LIFE!

    • Bambi’s Mama dies???? Is that why my mother never let me . . . I need a moment.

      • meridiean says:

        I’m…I’m so sorry…I never realized… *hands over box of tissues and pats shoulder consolingly*

        Of course, it could be that Flower was a bit of a gigolo…or that Thumper dealt carrots on the side…or that the forest was dirty what with the dirt floor and all…

      • Ack. My delicate sensibilities. I have the vapors.

      • meridiean says:

        I’d offer the handy dandy vial of ammonia for that, but I like you too much. I shall simply state: THERE’S ERIC!

        *See? Better’n ammonia any day of the week!*

    • While we’re at it, we need to make sure no one watches Beauty and the Beast–bestiality is wrong, after all.
      And Sleeping Beauty–necrophilia anyone?
      And Snow White–necrophilia + living with seven men (unmarried) + I bet money that the queen was a whore (I know I would have been in her shoes–why else would she been so anxious to be the “fairest” in the land?).

      • meridiean says:

        Yeah, I’ve always had a “feeling” about that queen…she definitely had ‘man hoarder’ tendencies. I read somewhere that the original version of Sleeping Beauty had her being raped by the Prince, and that she “slept” through that, the pregnancy, AND having the baby, and didn’t ‘wake up’ until said baby latched onto her nipple.

        Snow White was a total whore. Cinderella kisses and runs, so I guess that makes her a runny whore?

      • The “original” Sleeping Beauty is a “trip.” It’s called “Sun, Moon and Thalia,” (find it free online). It’s by Basile. In it the prince is married to an ogress. He goes gallivanting (whorishly) through the woods, finds Sleeping beauty, and rapes her while she’s asleep. She does have two kids, as you said. But here’s the best part: the prince comes back looking for more, and only then does he find that she’s had two kids! Then he takes her to within “range” of the ogress (his wife) and then he leaves her pretty much defenseless. I think that the ogress and Sleeping Beauty should have teamed up and killed him——-and then, of course, become whores.

    • ficlit78 says:

      I know and you’re totally right. I just had to purge to you buds.

      • meridiean says:

        Purge away, hon – no worries at all. Fuck that fucktarded “guest”, and you’re more than welcome to use my motto if you wish (it’s a great meditation for situations like this):

        But, in the end, writers are going to write what writers want to write, and readers are going to read what readers want to read, and sometimes the twain should not meet, and that is perfectly fine. (Me)

  14. MissPharao says:

    You rock!
    What the hell is going on on I’ve read a few times now that there are ‘guest’ reviewers leaving shitty comments and are downright attacking the writer. They can be critical, of course, and writers need them to evolve. But not like this! Do they not have a f*cking life? Are they so miseable with their lives that they have to drag someone down with them just to make themselves feel better?
    I’ve been going through that for 3 years with my boss and let me tell you, I flipped her the bird when I finally left. I HATE those people.
    I write a story as well at the moment but I’m honestly second guessing putting it on
    That site should only be accessible for users so they can’t hide behind ‘guests’!
    Let me tell you one thing: your story is awesome! I love it!

  15. When I was writing Come Back to Me, I had a particularly unpleasant “troll,” who accused me of being a sexual deviant because I delved into sexual abuse and rape. Like you, I had to scratch my head to wonder about this individual’s intellectual capacity. Um–dude, Sookie was molested as a kid. I didn’t do that to her. And–uh–I hate to break this news to you, but the author of the books told us that Eric was raped by his maker for a long time before he “learned to” enjoy it!!! Now that’s sick! And the same author left Eric in a similar situation, which the coda tells us he learned to tolerate!?!? This is why I object to the author’s ending, but I never accused her of being a “deviant” personally herself.

    I think what pisses me off the most about your “guest” is that he/she claimed to be “disappointed in YOU.” HOW RIDICULOUS! As if he/she is TRYING to make his/her comment a personal attack against you (which is ironic given the fact that the context of your “objectionable” word was as a joke). As if you’d somehow stolen his/her puppy by using the word “whore.” Geez! I can understand why you’re mad at this and why you wanted to write about it. Sometimes there’s just a level of inanity that must be answered, and the people who leave such responses but make it impossible to respond back are COWARDS.

    And–guess what–I’d much rather be called a WHORE than a COWARD.

    In my opinion, those who are so “sensitive” that they are offended by words shouldn’t read.

    They should, perhaps, run for Congress so that they can be with others of their kind.

    • YOU HIT THE NAIL ON ON THE HEAD – I’m disappointed in you – THAT’S that makes it so personal! Good perspective.

    • meridiean says:

      That’s one of the things I find the most laughable about this whole situation: CH wrote what is essentially a VERY dark themed story filled with sexually deviant behavior – the molestation in Sookie’s (and others) childhood (with him getting away with it), Bill raping her and getting away with it, Eric being raped by his Maker who got away with it, then getting away with selling Eric into yet another sexual situation, etc…

      So, if this guest’s eyes are THAT virginal, then WHY ARE THEY READING SVM/TB FICS TO BEGIN WITH??? How is what SHE wrote YOUR fault? You were/are trying to FIX it!

      Canon (and even True Blood) is FILLED with sexual deviancy, murder, torture, betrayal, manipulations, rapes, and bullies and cowards getting away with horrendous activities and actions!! While it is up to the writers amongst us to correct many of these things and/or bring the guilty to justice, many times you can NOT do so without “visiting the scene of the original crime” first. Ugh!!!

      And yeah, whores have fun while cowards are busy hiding. Maybe they should spend more time gazing into their own navels.

    • ficlit78 says:

      I know, we obviously deal in a dark fandom! And I’ve written MUCH darker stuff than Eric jokingly calling her a whore. Are you freaking kidding me?! Anywho, love ya.

  16. glamouredbyyou says:

    Oh, Heather! After all these month – mmh years – in FF, how can some moron made you so mad!!!
    Guest comments are often sound like self loving assholes – ups – to me. Why, in this special case, reading FF M-rated. You made it clear – this is not Twilight! This is True Blood – Twilight with balls – again ups!!! Am I too harsh with my words??? ROFL I give a shit!!!
    Me and 2494 other LOVE your writing – including whore, cunt, dick, ………LOL
    I love, how many responded to this post, because they gave me a good laugh after a shitty monday at work – and again ups!
    Stay as you you are, Heather!

  17. duckbutt60 says:

    Ladies –I can’t add any more to the conversation (brilliant as it is!) than you have. Ignore the guests –they are cowards, or worse yet, trolls trying to get your story booted from fanfic Pretty Kitty is one of the steamiest, smartest reads out there, bar none. I’ve copied it over, chapter by new chapter, into a Word document in the event it disappears (gets “purged”). I’m so glad to see this site set up as a no-holds-barred alternate. Now….Heather, dearest, tell us what Eric REALLY thinks…and does….and screws….and how he screws…..and how Sookie responds…and screams…and screws back….and oh my, you get the picture…..

  18. redjane12 says:

    Hey, hope your rant made you feel better… It made me smile that’s for sure and I do share the eye rolling at the ongoing silliness that is allowed by anonymous commentators on FF…
    Having said that, as much as I love your stories, I do not feel the need to defend the language or anything in them. I love them but I can understand someone else doesn’t. All colours in nature and no account for taste etc etc. What I do not see is what is it that prevents the people who find a story or its language objectable from just walking away. Seriously, freedom of expression? Same as the freedom they have to go off and read whatever they like…
    We all have found stories that were, in one’s opinion, tasteless or exploitative or badly written but unless you are prepared to give a constructive opinion (and not an anonymous cowardly one), just walk away…
    Oh and I confess I quite like Sandra Bullock… and Keanu Reeves… Even The Lakehouse (I know, kill me now…)

    • ficlit78 says:

      Absolutely. I don’t expect everyone to love my stuff. I’ve read plenty of things I didn’t like or agree with, but it didn’t even occur to me to take a beef to the author. Like you say, I just walk away.

      A driveby bitching is just pathetic.

      I also like Sandra. But I don’t think she’s ever been called a bitch in a movie. Hence, she’s safe, reliable, PG material.

  19. Roxybird says:

    Just know we love you and your stories, feel free to rant anytime. Trolls are inevitable, no matter how much I despise the fact that they are to chicken shit to reveal who they are. Unhappy asses who have nothing better to do that try to upset others. Fuck ’em. (Not literally cuz you know they’re no good in bed.) 😉

  20. Haha I love it! I know how you feel girl! I had to post something similar to this on one of my stories too. I write Eric like a vampire not a wuss, as do you (though you do it flawlessly :)) and some people have a problem with that. I told them to stick to teenage twilight stories if they didn’t like it! Your story is fantastic and you write a very entertaining Eric and Sookie so don’t change a thing!

  21. I think this must be National Anonymous Asshole Month. I just received a “guest” review today; however, this person wrote their name in, but chose to not sign in to so I wouldn’t have the opportunity to respond. Very juvenile. They said that the last chapter of my story disappointed them; they didn’t understand why I had to hurt Sookie. They couldn’t understand how one minute Sookie is ok with Eric; the next she is freaking out. It’s called PTSD people; shit doesn’t have a rhyme or reason as to why it happens, it just does. This person proceeded to say that they loved my story, with the exception of the current chapter, and feels “disappointed” in the direction I’m moving the story. But yet they’ll still continue to read. If I’m disappointing you, chances are I’m not going to suddenly redeem myself in the next chapter.

    Ok, I understand we are using characters and ideas that are the intellectual property of other people. That does not mean that I’m going to do everything the exact same way as Ms. Harris and Mr. Ball. Obviously, there is something we have found lacking in their work or we wouldn’t spend all this time creating/reading different scenarios involving these characters. I really want to tell everyone to calm the fuck down. If you don’t like what I’m writing, fine, stop reading. Why do you insist on reading ALL 44 CHAPTERS and leaving a negative review on every single fucking one of them?!?!?!?! And then blast me in the reviews because I don’t “have the balls” to post negative criticism of my work. When the fuck has Charlaine Harris EVER posted negative criticism on her book jackets for any of the Sookie Stackhouse series?!?!?!?! If she doesn’t have to post her negative comments, neither do I. And if she posted her stories like we do, one chapter at a time, I can guaran-damn-tee that she never would have gotten past chapter 6 of Book 1.

    It’s shit like this that makes me question why I bother writing… We all have lives outside of fanfiction. We have jobs, families, school, etc. that requires our time and attention. Yet we still try to carve some time out of our schedules to continue writing these stories so that the people that have been following us can be entertained. I’ve been sick for a week, finally went back to work, now I’m home after doing all my housewife duties, and I don’t feel like fucking writing because of the 6 anonymous guest reviews today. I swear to God if I find the person that called me a c**t I’ll do worse than Eric Northman did to the gay stormtroopers!

    • ficlit78 says:

      I had to go read you review. Seriously, where do people get off? You’re doing this for free! For no reason other than love. Don’t you dare get disenchanted because some teenage asshole doesn’t understand the importance of angst. Losers.

    • I wanna second what Ficlit said!

      I have the same policy about “guest” reviews even if people add a “name” to them. I mean–really–what can the name “jane” do for me when it comes to talking back? So if I cannot reply to them, I don’t let them post if they are negative. I decided not to give these people the forum. But sometimes I, too, have to talk about them–just as ficlit did. It’s a kind of therapy. I think the worst was when I was called “sick” for dealing with sexual abuse. And that person left several reviews per chapter for a while (another thing that the “guest” can do that a signed in reader cannot). Like you, I also became a little depressed because of such reviews; I think it’s natural. I’m sensitive, I love my work, and to have it attacked hurts. But then I–with difficulty–focused my attention on the people who loved my stories. And the first person in that line was me. I love them. And I know that–even if no one else read them–I would still write them b/c writing is my favorite past time. It’s what I do to decompress from my life.

      It’s too easy for me to tell you not to ask questions about why you write b/c I have done the same. But I will tell you that in answering those questions, I found a lot of damned reasons! And a lot of support! When you answer that question, you can count me in as a supporter!

      Love ya,

  22. […] at least I had the opportunity to give a little hidden love to my gal ficlit78 after reading her post today. So this one is for you […]

  23. lovinthevamp says:

    Let me just say how much I love you and your stories. I only wish I could write the way you do! As for the small minded guest reviewers they can go to hell! Thanks for all you give us!

  24. Adriana says:

    I love your stories and I confess that I love Sandra Bullock too. I’m pretty sure Melissa McCarthy called her a bitch in The Heat. And, Sandra actually said motherfucker! IKR?? Craziness.

    I think the guest is failing to see the whole point of PK since that type of banter is the cornerstone of PK along with the plot and the sex. Honestly, I get so frustrated for all of you writers who have to endure these trolls and their stupidity. In the past few weeks a lot of you (my writer faves) have been hit by these trolls with absolutely nothing positive to say. It’s a shame that FFN allows this, they really need to get rid of the guest option.

  25. tyesmamaw says:

    I have to say that I LOVE this story hang in there!!!!

  26. caraway seed says:

    How dare you insult Sandra Bullock… you, you…. ah fuck it, I can’t be stuffed.

    Nasty people take it out of you. I don’t really write fanfic, I just read. But I do have the experience of getting one negative comment and having it just overwhelm me. Then I remember how hot shit I am at what I do. And you are hot shit at fanfic, and probably other things as well. Thanks again at making me laugh and making me hot and bothered. You are the best.

  27. Sam says:

    Ficlit you rule. Your prose is witty and dirty, sharp and gripping. It’s fanfic crack and I’m an addict as I adore it and you as a writer. Please disregard the ‘disappointed’ reviewer because if somebody like you truly disappoints them their life must suck beyond the telling of it!

    Anyway they clearly have sensibilities so delicate that Jane Austen would offend, and should therefore go play in somebody else’s sandbox, or stick to watching Disney – you know stuff like that.

    Rock on Ficlit!

  28. nedbella says:

    Well said. If they can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. I myself can’t get enough of your writing. It’s exactly how the characters are. Writing anything less than that is robbing them of who they are and ruins a story. Keep doing what you do best and ignore the prudes. They don’t matter. Sounds like they need a good root to knock something loose LOL.

  29. eaaustin85 says:

    you tell them!!! I love how you stick to the Eric’s personality n don’t turn him into a pansy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s